Twitter is for twats
Bloggers are boring and so are blogs. Nevertheless, bloggers live in a constant state of denial about this and try to put off thinking about how much of their life they have wasted and will waste, by inventing and becoming completely absorbed in “blogging tools”. Blogging tools, probably all invented by people who laugh at bloggers and enjoy causing pain to their girlfriends, give the hapless blogger a way to blog even when he isn’t blogging! It’s like the packet of cigarettes in between shooting more heroine. Not quite the buzz of the main event but it keeps you ticking over and stops your hands trembling quite so much.
One of these “blogging tools” is Twitter. I’m not even going to try to explain what it is because you’ll just instantly become confused and angry. It’s a complete and utter waste of bandwidth and I bet it uses more than its fair share of IPs too (another reason bloggers should be banned from using oxygen - we’re running out of IPs and they all want their own for “SEO”. Don’t get me started on SEO.) Using twitter is like walking up to a brick wall and licking it. Completely unexciting and probably causes infections. Bloggers use it to write one sentence long blog posts. Being the clever bunch they are, bloggers quickly found out you could use twitter to promote your actual blogs! So now twitter is basically a huge database of variations of the following sentence:
“Just finished writing a blog about [top ten ways to flush a toilet] over at [myutterlyboringblog.com]”
Usually this sentence is followed by a hopeful “Check it out!!”. No, thank you, I won’t.
[...] bloggers take every opportunity to twitter on about how they have single handedly destroyed mainstream media such as newspapers and television [...]
i think your cool