Life Coach Bloggers actually Have no Life to Blog about
Comments(0) Blogs are dull and no more duller than those written by the blogger who thinks she can teach you how to live your life better than you are currently managing to do yourself. These types of bloggers prey on the desperate and the hopeful and in a perfect world would be charged and convicted of some first degree crime the moment they are born.
So called “life coach” bloggers even go so far as to offer off-blog services such as ‘phone consultation’ and so on. Writing a life coach blog is possibly one of the easiest things to do and has the added benefit of providing the blogger with a semi-legitimate excuse for actually having no life himself.
Pick a topic. Any topic. Fat? You’re fat? You like burgers and fries? This post is for you. I’ve got 500 words (its got to be 500 because google says so, or, the people who pretend they know about google say so, which to a blogger is all that’s important) on how changes in your life can remove all that excess blubber. The blogger then goes on to list the sort of magic remedies that a five year old tied to a tree upside down in the desert for 4 months with no water could also come up with in under 5 seconds of quasi-thinking. Eat less, exercise more.
Life coach bloggers are not 70-something grandmas with a life of outdoors adventure travel helping orphan virgin runaway children into education. They are 20-something to 50-something ex or present corporate wage slaves trying desperately to break away from the shackles of employment while paying an expensive mortgage on a house they will never own in a neighbourhood they have always lived in. They have no experience or knowledge to impart. They have to actually search google themselves to find content to re-write for their own lifecoach blog.
I propose a serious, er, proposal. All bloggers should be bound by law to publish verifiable evidence of what they have searched for in the week coming up to publishing a certain blog post on their useless life coach blog. I bet you less than 0.0001% of them actually knew anything about the topic before deciding to write on it.
Life coaches.
“Welcome to Lizzie’s life coaching blog where every morning is a bright ray of inspirational sunshine from me to you!!!!!!21″
“Post 1: Three things to do every morning to improve your life!! Stand in front of the mirror and repeat: “I am a beautiful snowflake, I am a beautiful snowflake, I am a beautiful snowflake.”
Well, I’ve got my own top three:
1) Kill a blogger
2) Kill another blogger (extra points for life coach bloggers)
3) Send me $400.