IHateBloggers.com

Bloggers often love to show how brilliant they are when compared to other bloggers by proudly proclaiming, usually in their blog tagline, what particular phrase they rank very highly for in google, yahoo and other search engines. Mainly google. So, without further ado, I proudly state that:

You need to read this blog because I rank number 1 for “dogs pubic hair” in google search results!

(actually true at time of writing)

I don’t need to tell you this but this was entirely deliberate on my part. I wanted to prove how exceptionally brilliant I am as a blogger and how I know many, many secrets for SEO and blogging that you could never possibly learn even if I was to write it in a list of 10 simple points. I started this blog 3 seconds ago and already I rank number one for dogs pubic hair in google.

(Usually at this point the blogger will tell you how you can also learn how to rank number one for your blog, except instead of some entirely useless and grammatically incorrect phrase, for a real money maker like “make money online” or somesuch).

So, do you want to learn the secrets to ranking number 1 for dogs pubic hair online? I’ll tell you, all you have to do is pay me $500 and buy my special exclusive ebook which is all of 4 pages long and written by me in between playing world of warcraft!

BUT WAIT!

Buy NOW to take advantage of our “crazy happy hour” where we’ll also provide you with enough useless downloads to last you a whole ten minutes of wasted reading time. You’ll hate us so much for making you excited enough to read through all this crap that you’ll probably want to punch your wall but don’t worry, if you put your email address into this online form I’ll send you a free subscription to anger management online blog.

And so on ad nauseam. God I hate bloggers.